Legalized Addiction
(August 2006)
I really lit myself up when I read an article today about antidepressants. I was on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications for several
years. During the time that I was medicated, I put on 40 pounds, got into debt and drank more than I did in college. The drugs made me
feel like everything was ok. Maybe things weren't ok. Maybe I should have fixed my problems rather than being ok with them. I masked
them by redirecting the way things were transmitted in my brain. I became nothing more than a consumer on every level. I worked at a job
that I couldn't stand so that I could have benefits that would cover my prescription drugs that I thought I had to have. I became a bigger
part of the system that I always tried to rebel against.
I was numb to everything, every consequence and everyone. The meds allow you to move on and not dwell on an issue. I can see the
rationale. They are trying to stop you from dwelling on bullsh*t problems so that you can live. The problem is that they don't allow you to
dwell on things that you should dwell on like art, a conversation, or a creative idea.
What really got me in the article today was a quote from Alan Schatzberg, chairman of the department of psychiatry and behavioral
sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine regarding going off anti-depressants. This expert said "I don't think they're difficult
to go off, the vast majority of people aren't that sensitive." This man is not an expert. I am the expert if you consider the root of the word
expert. Between the two of us, I am the only one with experience with these drugs.
I am the expert. I am the one that personally experienced night sweats (this withdrawal symptom is widely reported) so bad that my wife
thought that I had pissed the bed. I am the one that experienced the electrical sensations up my spine and into my brain that are
commonly referred to as "brain zaps". This is a withdrawal symptom that is common enough to develop a nickname, which contradicts the
"expert's" opinion.
I didn't follow my doctor's direction when I decided to stop taking the drugs. I didn't trust him. Why would I ask him about stopping? I'd be
hurting the drug trade that he advertised with his notepads, pens, business card holders and other bullsh*t things that the drug reps gave
him when they took him out to dinner or golfing. To me, it made the same amount of sense as consulting Bill Gates about buying a Mac
versus a PC.
I quit them on my own with the support of my wife. It was my choice. I am clean of all that shit and so far so good. I knew that I could free
my mind and get out of the matrix (that's dramatic, but it would make sense to you if you were in my shoes). I took the energy that the
drugs were dulling or misdirecting and have done something with it. I have gotten married, lost 40 pounds, started this website, and
travelled overseas.
It is probably more difficult to get through some days now, but maybe that's because I am reading and listening to the world around me.
Maybe our days should be difficult sometimes. Everything is my choice. I am not a product. I am creating a product that you are reading
now.
(August 2006)
I really lit myself up when I read an article today about antidepressants. I was on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications for several
years. During the time that I was medicated, I put on 40 pounds, got into debt and drank more than I did in college. The drugs made me
feel like everything was ok. Maybe things weren't ok. Maybe I should have fixed my problems rather than being ok with them. I masked
them by redirecting the way things were transmitted in my brain. I became nothing more than a consumer on every level. I worked at a job
that I couldn't stand so that I could have benefits that would cover my prescription drugs that I thought I had to have. I became a bigger
part of the system that I always tried to rebel against.
I was numb to everything, every consequence and everyone. The meds allow you to move on and not dwell on an issue. I can see the
rationale. They are trying to stop you from dwelling on bullsh*t problems so that you can live. The problem is that they don't allow you to
dwell on things that you should dwell on like art, a conversation, or a creative idea.
What really got me in the article today was a quote from Alan Schatzberg, chairman of the department of psychiatry and behavioral
sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine regarding going off anti-depressants. This expert said "I don't think they're difficult
to go off, the vast majority of people aren't that sensitive." This man is not an expert. I am the expert if you consider the root of the word
expert. Between the two of us, I am the only one with experience with these drugs.
I am the expert. I am the one that personally experienced night sweats (this withdrawal symptom is widely reported) so bad that my wife
thought that I had pissed the bed. I am the one that experienced the electrical sensations up my spine and into my brain that are
commonly referred to as "brain zaps". This is a withdrawal symptom that is common enough to develop a nickname, which contradicts the
"expert's" opinion.
I didn't follow my doctor's direction when I decided to stop taking the drugs. I didn't trust him. Why would I ask him about stopping? I'd be
hurting the drug trade that he advertised with his notepads, pens, business card holders and other bullsh*t things that the drug reps gave
him when they took him out to dinner or golfing. To me, it made the same amount of sense as consulting Bill Gates about buying a Mac
versus a PC.
I quit them on my own with the support of my wife. It was my choice. I am clean of all that shit and so far so good. I knew that I could free
my mind and get out of the matrix (that's dramatic, but it would make sense to you if you were in my shoes). I took the energy that the
drugs were dulling or misdirecting and have done something with it. I have gotten married, lost 40 pounds, started this website, and
travelled overseas.
It is probably more difficult to get through some days now, but maybe that's because I am reading and listening to the world around me.
Maybe our days should be difficult sometimes. Everything is my choice. I am not a product. I am creating a product that you are reading
now.
...a relevant response.
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